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May 9 – Who is more blue? Everton fans or Our Wayne?

Another quiet, low-key morning from the calm, sober and considered denizens of Fleet Street. Hahahaha. I kid, obviously. Judging by some the rubbish peddled as analyst, sobriety doesn’t visit the sports desk of many national newspapers very often these days. Nor does calm, for that matter.
Anyhoo, as summer follows spring, the knock-on effect of Beetface’s [...]



May 3 — Uncle Malcolm’s green and gold plus juicy rumours!

Remember those overwrought Mancs who were so overcome with fear over Uncle Malcolm’s stewardship of the club that they donned Norwich City kit and sang some anti-American protest chants? Well, as it turns out, green and gold appear to be Uncle Malcolm’s favouritest colours, too! And judging from the Q3 earnings from United, he’s going [...]



April 20 – a Saturday Night Special that’s got a lot more pop than a .32

Right so I have to get this off my chest after watching Arsenal stumble, stutter and fall across the finish line at Craven Cottage and I’m as angry as I’ve been in a very long time. So I decided to wait until after holding my team’s training session before posting this. And those poor kids [...]



March 25 — a mixed bag of metaphors, stereotypes and reckless speculation

Good morning and it’s one of those wonderful days where you can smell something special in the air. No, no, no, not spring (though, fingers crossed, that’s finally arrived). No it’s the pugent odor of fear and crushed expectation burbling up on Fleet Street and given voice by aspiring poet and northwest provincialist Henry of Winter as the Three [...]



March 14 – moral victories and how to impress a scout

Well Wednesday pretty much went according to script for football’s most successful property developers– a valiant late charge that fell just a little short followed by vigourous backpatting and much talk about mental strength in the postmortem. No sale here. The mental strength will display itself for the final run-in, starting in south Wales on [...]



February 28 – saluting FC Hollywood, top playmakers and how to spend 50m

Afternoon and apologies for the lateness of this update due to technical difficulties. Specifically the kind that cause one to need to go out and buy a brand-new laptop. But the cost of new MacBook Pro pales in comparison to what the average foottballing superstar fetches on the open market these days and Matt Stanger wonders [...]



January 29 – Sweet FA for Beetface and Fleet Street goes into Mario mourning

It’s always nice to have midweek games in the Premier League. It’s sort of like putting on a coat you’ve not worn for a while and reaching into the pocket and pulling out $20, an unexpected and pleasant break in the normal mundane routine during the week. And it also allows us to watch football [...]



January 17 – Silver linings transfer window and Walcott scores big in contract talks

As I regularly make fun of Fleet Street types for lazy stereotyping, it would seem hypocritical to question whether Arsene Wenger’s nationality makes him every agent’s favourite pigeon manager at the bargaining table. Because given some of the dribs and drabs coming out of  Theo Walcott’s contract capitulation negotiation, it’s easy to understand why Holloway Road Properties doesn’t have [...]



December 13 – plumbing the depths

So I made the mistake of watching Fox Soccer Report again last night, long enough to hear the considered cockney wisdom of Danny Dichio along with a video clip of Stewart Robson accusing Arsene Wenger of being an egomaniac, which is a pot-kettle-black moment if I’ve ever heard one, along with the modern invention — [...]



November 29 – journos get stuck into Paul Lambert

With pretty tepid fare on the midweek schedule — save for perhaps the lesser lights electric start against Brendan Rodgers’ tika-taka merchants — I thought I’ve give my readers some insights into the glamourous world of public relations and the beautiful people whose only agenda is the truth and serving the public’s interest. No, I [...]